Protocols for Excellent Parenting & Improving Relationships of All Kinds | Dr. Becky Kennedy

Andrew Huberman February 26, 2024
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Andrew Huberman

@hubermanlab

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The Huberman Lab podcast is hosted by Andrew Huberman, Ph.D., a neuroscientist and tenured professor in the department of neurobiology of ophthalmology, and by courtesy, psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford School of Medicine. The podcast discusses neuroscience and science-based tools, including how our brain and its connections with the organs of our body control our perceptions, our behaviors, and our health, as well as existing and emerging tools for measuring and changing how our nervous system works.

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In this episode, my guest is Dr. Becky Kennedy, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and founder of Good Inside, an education platform for parents and parents-to-be. We discuss actionable protocols for raising resilient, emotionally healthy kids and effective alternatives to typical forms of reward and punishment that instead teach children valuable skills and strengthen the parent-child bond. These protocols also apply to other types of relationships: professional, romantic, friendships, siblings, etc. We explain how to respond to emotional outbursts, rudeness, and entitlement, repair fractured relationships, build self-confidence, and improve interpersonal connections with empathy while maintaining healthy boundaries. We also discuss how to effectively communicate with children and adults with ADHD, anxiety, learning challenges, or with “deeply feeling” individuals. The conversation is broadly applicable to all types of social interactions and bonds. By the end of the episode, you will have learned simple yet powerful tools to build healthy relationships with kids, teens, adults, and oneself. Thank you to our sponsors AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman Mateína: https://drinkmateina.com/huberman Joovv: https://joovv.com/huberman AeroPress: https://aeropress.com/huberman InsideTracker: https://insidetracker.com/huberman Momentous: https://livemomentous.com/huberman Huberman Lab Social & Website Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hubermanlab Threads: https://www.threads.net/@hubermanlab Twitter: https://twitter.com/hubermanlab Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hubermanlab TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hubermanlab LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrew-huberman Website: https://www.hubermanlab.com Newsletter: https://www.hubermanlab.com/newsletter Dr. Becky Kennedy Good Inside website: https://www.goodinside.com TED talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/becky_kennedy_the_single_most_important_parenting_strategy Good Inside book: https://www.goodinside.com/book Podcast: https://www.goodinside.com/podcast Newsletter: https://www.goodinside.com/newsletter Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drbeckyatgoodinside TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drbeckyatgoodinside Threads: https://www.threads.net/@drbeckyatgoodinside Journal Articles The tenacious brain: How the anterior mid-cingulate contributes to achieving goals: https://bit.ly/48p5SZW Huberman Lab Episodes Mentioned Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett: How to Understand Emotions: https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/dr-lisa-feldman-barrett-how-to-understand-emotions The Effects of Cannabis (Marijuana) on the Brain & Body: https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/the-effects-of-cannabis-marijuana-on-the-brain-and-body People Mentioned Gabor Maté: physician and author: https://drgabormate.com Ronald Fairburn: psychiatrist and psychoanalyst: https://psychoanalysis.org.uk/our-authors-and-theorists/ronald-fairbairn James Hollis: Jungian psychoanalyst and author: https://jameshollis.net/welcome.htm Timestamps 00:00:00 Dr. Becky Kennedy 00:02:44 Sponsors: Mateína, Joovv & AeroPress 00:07:35 Healthy Relationships: Sturdiness, Boundaries & Empathy 00:14:34 Tool: Establishing Boundaries 00:18:24 Rules, Boundaries & Connection 00:22:19 Rewards & Punishments; Skill Building 00:29:48 Sponsor: AG1 00:31:16 Kids & Inherent Good 00:34:06 Family Jobs, Validation & Confidence, Giving Hope 00:41:54 Rewards, Pride 00:44:48 Tool: “I Believe You”, Confidence & Safety; Other Relationships 00:52:15 Trauma, Aloneness & Repair 00:57:07 Tool: Repair & Apologies, Rejecting Apology 01:01:04 Tool: Good Apologies 01:03:35 Sponsor: InsideTracker 01:04:37 Tool: Rudeness & Disrespect, Most Generous Interpretation 01:12:32 Walking on Eggshells, Pilot Analogy & Emotional Outbursts, Sturdy Leadership 01:20:49 Deeply Feeling Kids; Fears, Sensory Overload 01:30:10 Co-Parenting Differences & Punishment 01:37:11 Tool: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD); Meditation 01:41:20 Tool: Tolerating Frustration, Screen Time, Learning 01:51:57 Grace & Parenthood, Parenting Job Description; Relationship to Self 01:55:24 Tool: “I’m Noticing”, Asking Questions; Emotional Regulation 02:01:15 Adolescence & Critical Needs, Explorers vs. Nomads 02:09:58 Saying “I Love You”, Teenagers; Family Meetings 02:15:07 Self-Care, Rage & Boundaries; Sturdy Leaders; Parent Relationship & Conflict 02:22:08 Tool: Wayward Teens, Marijuana & Substance Use, Getting Additional Help 02:30:03 Mentors 02:34:26 Tool: Entitlement, Fear & Frustration 02:41:57 Tool: Experiencing Frustration; Chores & Allowance 02:46:31 Good Inside Platform 02:51:27 Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Reviews, YouTube Feedback, Sponsors, Momentous, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter #HubermanLab #Parenting #Relationships Title Card Photo Credit: Mike Blabac - https://www.blabacphoto.com Disclaimer: https://www.hubermanlab.com/disclaimer

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