You’ll Never See Your Family the Same After This Episode

Mel Robbins December 22, 2025
Video Thumbnail
Mel Robbins Logo

Mel Robbins

@melrobbins

About

Mel Robbins is the creator and host of The Mel Robbins Podcast, one of the most successful podcasts in the world, and a #1 New York Times bestselling author. She has 40M followers and is known globally for practical tools on mindset and behavior change. The Wall Street Journal calls her a “billion-view podcaster,” and TIME says she gives millions “a reason to believe in themselves.” Her books are published in 63 languages. The Let Them Theory is a #1 bestseller across every major list and a top-selling book of 2025 with more than 8M copies sold. She also wrote The 5 Second Rule and The High 5 Habit, and has seven #1 Audible releases. Her company, 143 Studios, produces award-winning podcasts, books, courses, and events for partners like Starbucks, Ulta Beauty, JP Morgan Chase, LinkedIn, and Audible. She has been honored by TIME 100 Digital Voices, Forbes 50 Over 50, USA Today, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and The Hollywood Reporter.

Video Description

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — If your family stirs up feelings - stress, guilt, grief - this episode is for you. Whether you love spending time with them, can only handle them in small doses, or stay away for your own sanity, being around family has a way of pushing every button you’ve got. That’s why Mel invited Dr. Mariel Buqué, a Columbia-trained psychologist and leading expert on family dynamics and generational patterns, to share the real reason why your family stresses you out. Dr. Buqué will help you see how the home you grew up in and the role that you played in your family shaped you as a person. She will also explain why the same tension, guilt, and arguments keep repeating year after year and how you can shift this dynamic. In this episode, you’ll learn about: -How no siblings grow up in the same family, and why it’s important to understand this -The specific challenges and lasting impact of being an eldest daughter -How women in particular absorb family stress, and the impact this can have on autoimmune diseases -How family trauma can be passed down through generations until someone decides to break the cycle -The impact on you of how your parents were parented -Specific daily tools and tactics to use around your family -How to do the work to heal yourself, even if others are not supportive This conversation will give language to what you’ve been feeling for years and tools you can use immediately: at the table, on the phone, or in everyday life. It’s an invitation to stop absorbing everyone else’s stress, see your family with clearer eyes, and protect your peace. As a gift to listeners of The Mel Robbins Podcast, Mel has created a free 20-page workbook to help you make 2026 a great year. This workbook is designed using the latest research to help you get clear about what you want and empower you to take the next step forward in your life. Get it here: https://www.melrobbins.com/bestyear/ For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-354/ Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: 00:00: Meet the Guest 7:22 Why Siblings Remember the Same Childhood Completely Differently 9:31 What is The Eldest Daughter Theory? 20:01 How Men vs Women Cope with Trauma 29:35 Daily Healing Practices That Work (Nervous System Regulation Tools) 35:58 Why Your Family Gets Angry When You Start Healing 40:10 How to Stay Grounded Around Family That Triggers You 42:26 Simple Tools for Surviving Family Gatherings 47:30 Imposter Syndrome: Causes, Signs, and How to Overcome It 53:12 Family Estrangement: When No Contact Is Healthy vs Avoidance 59:03 The Emotional Skills Every Parent Should Teach Their Kids — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

You May Also Like

Upgrade Your Everyday

AI-recommended products based on this video

Loading...
Kasa Smart Outdoor Smart Plug by TP-Link (KP400) - Smart WiFi Outlet with 2 Sockets, IP64 Waterproof, Works with Alexa and Google Home, 2.4GHz WiFi Required, No Hub Required, Sunset & Sunrise Offset

Kasa Smart Outdoor Smart Plug by TP-Link (KP400) - Smart WiFi Outlet with 2 Sockets, IP64 Waterproof, Works with Alexa and Google Home, 2.4GHz WiFi Required, No Hub Required, Sunset & Sunrise Offset

(28,846)
$21.99$17.99
FREE delivery Wed, Aug 20 on your first order
1K+ bought in past month
Loading...
Wireless Earbuds, Bluetooth 5.4 Headphones with 50H Playback, Deep Bass Stereo Ear Buds Clear Calls with LED Power Display, Wireless Headphones with Noise Cancelling Mic for Phone/Laptop, Carbon black

Wireless Earbuds, Bluetooth 5.4 Headphones with 50H Playback, Deep Bass Stereo Ear Buds Clear Calls with LED Power Display, Wireless Headphones with Noise Cancelling Mic for Phone/Laptop, Carbon black

(3,184)
$27.99
FREE delivery Mon, Feb 16 on your first order
Loading...
Wireless Earbuds Bluetooth 5.4 Headphones, Noise Canceling Ear Buds with 75hr Playtime, LED Power Display, IPX7 Waterproof Earphones Over Ear Earphones for Sports/Workouts

Wireless Earbuds Bluetooth 5.4 Headphones, Noise Canceling Ear Buds with 75hr Playtime, LED Power Display, IPX7 Waterproof Earphones Over Ear Earphones for Sports/Workouts

(87)
$29.99
FREE delivery Fri, Feb 13 on your first order
300+ bought in past month
Loading...
Monster Open Free AC100 Open Ear Bluetooth 5.3 Headphones, Wireless Earbuds with Earhooks, Immersive Stereo Sound by 16mm Large Driver, Clear Calls, 30H Playtime, for Workout

Monster Open Free AC100 Open Ear Bluetooth 5.3 Headphones, Wireless Earbuds with Earhooks, Immersive Stereo Sound by 16mm Large Driver, Clear Calls, 30H Playtime, for Workout

(17)
$29.99
FREE delivery Mon, Feb 16 on your first order
Loading...
Wireless Earbuds, Sports Bluetooth Headphones, 80Hrs Playtime Ear Buds with LED Power Display, Noise Canceling Headset, IPX7 Waterproof Earphones for Workout/Running Rose Gold

Wireless Earbuds, Sports Bluetooth Headphones, 80Hrs Playtime Ear Buds with LED Power Display, Noise Canceling Headset, IPX7 Waterproof Earphones for Workout/Running Rose Gold

(284)
$39.99
Prime
100+ bought in past month
Loading...
Brita Stainless Steel Premium Filtering Water Bottle, BPA-Free, Reusable, Insulated, Replaces 300 Plastic Water Bottles, Filter Lasts 2 Months or 40 Gallons, Includes 1 Filter, Carbon - 20 oz.

Brita Stainless Steel Premium Filtering Water Bottle, BPA-Free, Reusable, Insulated, Replaces 300 Plastic Water Bottles, Filter Lasts 2 Months or 40 Gallons, Includes 1 Filter, Carbon - 20 oz.

(2,652)
$81.37$76.36
FREE delivery Sep 29 - Oct 2
Loading...
Simple Modern Filtered Water Bottle | Insulated Stainless-Steel Carbon Filter Travel Water Bottles | Reusable for Clean Drinking Water On The Go | 24oz, Sea Glass Sage

Simple Modern Filtered Water Bottle | Insulated Stainless-Steel Carbon Filter Travel Water Bottles | Reusable for Clean Drinking Water On The Go | 24oz, Sea Glass Sage

(26)
$30.13
FREE delivery Tue, Sep 23 on your first order
Loading...
FITVII Health & Fitness Tracker (Answer/Make Calls), Smart Watch with 24/7 Heart Rate and Blood Pressure, Sleep Tracking Monitor, 120+ Sport Mode Activity Tracker

FITVII Health & Fitness Tracker (Answer/Make Calls), Smart Watch with 24/7 Heart Rate and Blood Pressure, Sleep Tracking Monitor, 120+ Sport Mode Activity Tracker

(198)
$59.99
FREE delivery Sun, Aug 10
100+ bought in past month
Loading...
AYATAHA AYATAHA Smart Watch for Kids, Smartwatch Fitness Tracker for Boys Girls, Children's Activity Watch 37 Sports Modes SMS Notification, HD Full Touchscreen IP67 Waterproof, Blue

AYATAHA AYATAHA Smart Watch for Kids, Smartwatch Fitness Tracker for Boys Girls, Children's Activity Watch 37 Sports Modes SMS Notification, HD Full Touchscreen IP67 Waterproof, Blue

(55)
$41.99
PrimeFREE delivery Sat, Jun 14
Loading...
Iaret Iaret Smart Watch for Women, 1.83" HD Fitness Tracker with 4 Bands, Answer/Make Calls, Heart Rate/Sleep/SpO2/Step Tracking, 100+ Sport Modes, Android/iPhone Compatible Gift (Rose Gold)

Iaret Iaret Smart Watch for Women, 1.83" HD Fitness Tracker with 4 Bands, Answer/Make Calls, Heart Rate/Sleep/SpO2/Step Tracking, 100+ Sport Modes, Android/iPhone Compatible Gift (Rose Gold)

(42)
$59.99
FREE delivery Thu, Jun 19
100+ bought in past month
Loading...
Smart Watch for Men Women 1.8" Fitness Tracker, Bluetooth Call, DIY Dial, Heart Rate Sleep Blood Oxygen Monitor, 100+ Sports Modes, IP68 Waterproof Smartwatch for Android iPhone, Alexa Built-in

Smart Watch for Men Women 1.8" Fitness Tracker, Bluetooth Call, DIY Dial, Heart Rate Sleep Blood Oxygen Monitor, 100+ Sports Modes, IP68 Waterproof Smartwatch for Android iPhone, Alexa Built-in

(980)
$39.99
FREE delivery Sun, Sep 21
300+ bought in past month
Loading...
Hand Warmers 2 Pack, 14000mAh Rechargeable Hand Warmers, Electric Hand Warmer Reusable, Portable Power Bank USB Hand Warmers 4 Levels 8 Heating, Gifts for Raynauds Ski Golf Camping

Hand Warmers 2 Pack, 14000mAh Rechargeable Hand Warmers, Electric Hand Warmer Reusable, Portable Power Bank USB Hand Warmers 4 Levels 8 Heating, Gifts for Raynauds Ski Golf Camping

(683)
$74.08$59.47
FREE delivery Jun 13 - 18
Loading...
Hand Warmers Rechargeable, 10000mAh Electric Heated Gloves Power Bank Portable Graphene Handwarmers Pouch with 3 Levels & Double-Sided Heating for Hunting Camping Golf Xmas Gifts for Women Men Kids

Hand Warmers Rechargeable, 10000mAh Electric Heated Gloves Power Bank Portable Graphene Handwarmers Pouch with 3 Levels & Double-Sided Heating for Hunting Camping Golf Xmas Gifts for Women Men Kids

(651)
$44.99
PrimeFREE delivery Sun, Jun 15
Loading...
2Pack Rechargeable Hand Warmer, 8000mAh Electric Hand Warmer Power Bank, Portable USB-C Hand Warmer for Pocket, Reusable Hand Warmer Up to 8 hrs Each, Warm Gift for Men Women, for Hunting, Camping
Amazon's Choice

2Pack Rechargeable Hand Warmer, 8000mAh Electric Hand Warmer Power Bank, Portable USB-C Hand Warmer for Pocket, Reusable Hand Warmer Up to 8 hrs Each, Warm Gift for Men Women, for Hunting, Camping

(1,128)
$15.99
FREE delivery Sat, Jun 14 on your first order
Loading...
GTOCE Portable Charger,40000mAh Power Bank with 22.5W Fast Charging LED Digital Display Battery Pack with 6 Outputs 2 Inputs, Type C Powerbank Portable Charger for iPhone 16 pro Samsung AirPods,Black

GTOCE Portable Charger,40000mAh Power Bank with 22.5W Fast Charging LED Digital Display Battery Pack with 6 Outputs 2 Inputs, Type C Powerbank Portable Charger for iPhone 16 pro Samsung AirPods,Black

(334)
$42.99
FREE delivery Thu, Oct 16
1K+ bought in past month
Loading...
Monster Sleep Ear100 Ear Buds, Sleep Earbuds with Stereo Sound, Design for Side Sleeper, 32H Playtime, Bluetooth 6.0, ENC Noise Cancelling, IPX6 Waterproof Mini Headphones, Black

Monster Sleep Ear100 Ear Buds, Sleep Earbuds with Stereo Sound, Design for Side Sleeper, 32H Playtime, Bluetooth 6.0, ENC Noise Cancelling, IPX6 Waterproof Mini Headphones, Black

(15)
$39.99
FREE delivery Mon, Feb 23
Loading...
Monster Sleep Ear100 Ear Buds, Sleep Earbuds with Stereo Sound, Design for Side Sleeper, 32H Playtime, Bluetooth 6.0, ENC Noise Cancelling, IPX6 Waterproof Mini Headphones, Black

Monster Sleep Ear100 Ear Buds, Sleep Earbuds with Stereo Sound, Design for Side Sleeper, 32H Playtime, Bluetooth 6.0, ENC Noise Cancelling, IPX6 Waterproof Mini Headphones, Black

(6)
$39.99
FREE delivery Sat, Dec 27
Loading...
Hydroponics Growing System Indoor Garden - Herb Garden with Grow Light, 15 Pods Stainless Steel Indoor Garden Kit, Auto Timer, Gardening Gift for All Ages

Hydroponics Growing System Indoor Garden - Herb Garden with Grow Light, 15 Pods Stainless Steel Indoor Garden Kit, Auto Timer, Gardening Gift for All Ages

(24)
$206.57$200.61
FREE delivery Jun 13 - 17
Loading...
Umbra Triflora Hanging Planter for Window, Indoor Herb Garden, Set of 5, White/Black

Umbra Triflora Hanging Planter for Window, Indoor Herb Garden, Set of 5, White/Black

(7,808)
$71.52
PrimeFREE delivery Sat, Jun 14
Loading...
Large Hydroponics Growing System 14 Pods, Indoor Herb Garden with LED Grow Light, 5L Water Tank, Hydroponic Grow Kit with 3 Auto-Timers, Rotatable Light Panel and Child Lock for Home School Gardening

Large Hydroponics Growing System 14 Pods, Indoor Herb Garden with LED Grow Light, 5L Water Tank, Hydroponic Grow Kit with 3 Auto-Timers, Rotatable Light Panel and Child Lock for Home School Gardening

(119)
$167.81
FREE delivery Jun 16 - 20
Loading...
Hanging Planter Hanging Plant Holder, 6 Inch 4 Indoor Plant Pots, Wall/Window Plant Hanger Indoor Herb Garden

Hanging Planter Hanging Plant Holder, 6 Inch 4 Indoor Plant Pots, Wall/Window Plant Hanger Indoor Herb Garden

(269)
$35.99$28.90
PrimeFREE delivery Sat, Jun 14
Loading...
slopehill Multi Hair Stylers & Hair Straightener - 2 in 1 Wet to Dry Air Straightener and Hair Dryer Combo with High Speed Air + Rapid Heat-Up + Customizable Temperature(Pink)

slopehill Multi Hair Stylers & Hair Straightener - 2 in 1 Wet to Dry Air Straightener and Hair Dryer Combo with High Speed Air + Rapid Heat-Up + Customizable Temperature(Pink)

(177)
$139.99
Prime
Loading...
Hi.FANCY Portable Laptop Stand with Dual Cooling Fans for 14-17inch Laptops, Grey, 23.5 x 25.9 x 0.95cm

Hi.FANCY Portable Laptop Stand with Dual Cooling Fans for 14-17inch Laptops, Grey, 23.5 x 25.9 x 0.95cm

(0)
$36.99
FREE delivery Aug 18 - 28
Loading...
Laptop Stand for Desk, Adjustable Laptop Riser ABS+Silicone Foldable Portable Laptop Holder, Ventilated Cooling Notebook Stand for 10-15.6” Laptops,Tablet-Black

Laptop Stand for Desk, Adjustable Laptop Riser ABS+Silicone Foldable Portable Laptop Holder, Ventilated Cooling Notebook Stand for 10-15.6” Laptops,Tablet-Black

(11,679)
$14.99
FREE delivery Sat, Jun 14 on your first order
500+ bought in past month
Loading...
JETech 5 in 1 Case for Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra 5G with 2-Pack Each Tempered Glass Screen Protector and Camera Lens Protector, Non-Yellowing Shockproof Bumper Phone Cover (Clear)

JETech 5 in 1 Case for Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra 5G with 2-Pack Each Tempered Glass Screen Protector and Camera Lens Protector, Non-Yellowing Shockproof Bumper Phone Cover (Clear)

(197)
$15.99
FREE delivery Sat, Jun 14 on your first order
100+ bought in past month
Loading...
TAURI for iPhone 17 Pro Max Case 6.9" with 1-Pack Screen Protector, Camera Lens Full Protection, Military-Grade Protection, Shockproof Transparent Back Bumper Phone Cover - Clear Global Recycled Standard

TAURI for iPhone 17 Pro Max Case 6.9" with 1-Pack Screen Protector, Camera Lens Full Protection, Military-Grade Protection, Shockproof Transparent Back Bumper Phone Cover - Clear Global Recycled Standard

(0)
$10.76
FREE delivery Thu, Oct 16 on your first order
2K+ bought in past month
Loading...
TAURI for iPhone 17 Pro Case 6.3" with 1-Pack Screen Protector, Camera Lens Full Protection, Military-Grade Protection, Shockproof Transparent Back Bumper Phone Cover - Clear Global Recycled Standard
Best Seller

TAURI for iPhone 17 Pro Case 6.3" with 1-Pack Screen Protector, Camera Lens Full Protection, Military-Grade Protection, Shockproof Transparent Back Bumper Phone Cover - Clear Global Recycled Standard

(61,696)
$10.76
Prime
2K+ bought in past month
Loading...
JOINPAYA 1Set Rechargeable Hand Warmer Hand Heater for Winter Heating Levels Compact

JOINPAYA 1Set Rechargeable Hand Warmer Hand Heater for Winter Heating Levels Compact

(0)
$9.29
FREE delivery Jun 20 - Jul 4
Loading...
Shakven Rechargeable Hand Warmer | Cute Comfortable Portable Hand Warmers,Ergonomic Adjustable Energy-Efficient Small Heater for Travel, Outdoor, Winter

Shakven Rechargeable Hand Warmer | Cute Comfortable Portable Hand Warmers,Ergonomic Adjustable Energy-Efficient Small Heater for Travel, Outdoor, Winter

(0)
$26.93
FREE delivery Jun 19 - Jul 2
Loading...
OCOOPA IP45 Waterproof Hand Warmer Rechargeable, Up to 15hrs Heat,10000mAh Durable Quick Charge Electric Hand Heater, PD Compatible, 3 Levels for Outdoors, Heavy Duty, H01-PD PRO

OCOOPA IP45 Waterproof Hand Warmer Rechargeable, Up to 15hrs Heat,10000mAh Durable Quick Charge Electric Hand Heater, PD Compatible, 3 Levels for Outdoors, Heavy Duty, H01-PD PRO

(50)
$39.99
PrimeFREE delivery Sat, Jun 14
Loading...
OCOOPA IP45 Waterproof Hand Warmer Rechargeable, Up to 15hrs Heat,10000mAh Durable Quick Charge Electric Hand Heater, PD Compatible, 3 Levels for Outdoors, Heavy Duty, H01-PD PRO

OCOOPA IP45 Waterproof Hand Warmer Rechargeable, Up to 15hrs Heat,10000mAh Durable Quick Charge Electric Hand Heater, PD Compatible, 3 Levels for Outdoors, Heavy Duty, H01-PD PRO

(649)
$39.99
PrimeFREE delivery Sat, Jun 14