How to Bring Up an Issue With Someone Who Gets Defensive

Video Description

Have you ever brought something up in a calm, honest, reasonable way… and within seconds they get upset, you become the problem, and somehow you’re apologizing for something they did? If you’ve ever thought: • “Did I say something wrong?” • “Why do I feel like the bad guy for being honest?” • “Why do I feel like I’m losing my mind?” You’re not imagining it — and you’re not alone. In today’s video, we’re breaking down why emotionally immature people get so defensive, even when you approach them gently. You’ll learn: ✔ why defensiveness is a nervous system reaction, not a communication issue ✔ the core beliefs that make emotionally immature people react like they’re being attacked ✔ the 6 defensive patterns to watch out for (blame-flipping, minimizing, shutting down, counterattacking, etc.) ✔ how to protect your power and stay grounded so you don’t get pulled into chaos ✔ how to bring things up without losing yourself or feeling like the bad guy This video is for anyone who has struggled to communicate with someone who reacts with defensiveness, denial, blame, or emotional immaturity — whether that’s a partner, parent, sibling, coworker, or friend. ⭐ FREE RESOURCE: Get My 3-Step Emotional Reset Plan Stay steady, grounded, and clear — even when someone else gets reactive. Download it free here: 👉 https://courses.juliakristina.com/3-step-emotional-reset 📍 CHAPTERS 00:00 When Your Honesty Triggers Defensiveness 00:45 Why You Feel Like the “Bad Guy” 01:16 Why Emotionally Immature People Get Defensive 02:16 Their Nervous System in Overdrive 03:40 The 5 Defensive Patterns 05:00 What Their Defensiveness Isn’t About 05:16 How to Stay Grounded When They Get Defensive 11:39 You Can Model Emotional Maturity (Without Fixing Them) 13:51 You Deserve Emotionally Safe Relationships ⭐ WHO THIS VIDEO IS FOR: • People who feel blamed when they speak up • Anyone confused by someone else’s defensiveness • Adult children of emotionally immature parents • Highly sensitive people who lose their grounding under conflict • Partners of defensive or reactive individuals • Anyone healing from toxic or chaotic communication patterns If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation feeling small, confused, guilty, or unheard — this video will help you understand exactly what happened and what to do next. ⭐ WATCH NEXT: • 7 Things Emotionally Immature People Say:https://youtu.be/TC7_XuTZIAA • 6 Ways Emotionally Immature People Avoid Accountability: https://youtu.be/JJA27tjnT0k • 7 Ways to Handle Conflict in An Emotionally Mature Way https://youtu.be/QLG3Je7B1X8 SAY Hi 👋 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JuliaCounsellor/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliacounsellor/ Web site: https://juliakristina.com/ ABOUT JULIA: Julia Kristina, MA, is a speaker, teacher, master therapist and mental wealth coach who helps smart, highly sensitive, heart centred humans get past anxiety, stress, and self-doubt so they can have better: Better relationships, a better life and feel better about themselves. Through her membership program, The Shift Society, she helps people identify their deep rooted thoughts and beliefs that are keeping them stuck and struggling, and then teaches them how to take charge of their minds and emotions so they can thrive in all areas of their lives. Julia’s expertise has been featured in Inc magazine, Psych Central, Mind Body Green and numerous other publications, podcasts and television outlets. She has also given talks in front of audiences of hundreds on stages across North America. Videos on her YouTube channel have been watched more than 20 million times and she has built a community of over 400,000 people across social media platforms. When she’s not helping her clients and students increase their emotional intelligence and mental strength, she’s out on some kind of adventure with her three children in Vancouver, Canada.