Is Forgiving a Narcissist a Trap?

DoctorRamani November 16, 2025
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DoctorRamani

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Your #1 source of guidance about healing from narcissistic relationships. DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

Video Description

Everyone says forgiveness is the key to healing—but does that apply when you’re dealing with a narcissist? In these relationships, forgiveness can sometimes backfire, leaving you feeling more stuck, blamed, and even exploited. In this video, Dr. Ramani unpacks the messy reality of forgiveness with narcissists—and what it really means for your healing and your future. ARTICLE MENTIONED: Abstract: How does forgiveness predict the likelihood of reoffending? One survey study, one experiment, one 4-year longitudinal study, and one 2-week diary study examined the implications of forgiveness for reoffending in relationships. In all four studies, agreeableness interacted with partner forgiveness to predict subsequent offending; partner forgiveness was negatively associated with subsequent offending among more agreeable people but positively associated with subsequent offending among less agreeable people. Furthermore, Study 4 demonstrated a unique mechanism of each simple effect; relatively agreeable people engaged in fewer transgressions against more forgiving partners because they felt obligated to refrain from transgressing against such partners whereas relatively disagreeable people engaged in more transgressions against more forgiving partners because they perceived those partners were less easily angered. These studies indicate that completely understanding the intrapersonal and interpersonal consequences of forgiveness requires recognizing the dyadic nature of forgiveness and attending to qualities of the offender. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27029577/ ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU" https://smarturl.it/not-you JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM https://doctor-ramani.com/the-healing-program/ JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK https://doctor-ramani.com/drn VISIT MY WEBSITE https://doctor-ramani.com/ RECOMMENDED RESOURCES AND HOTLINES https://doctor-ramani.com/resources/hotline/ LISTEN TO MY PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM" Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/navigating-narcissism/id1629909313 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2fUMDuTaHJrIhIeybVIfCz Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/how-stuff-works/navigating-narcissism iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-navigating-narcissism-98632373/ DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

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